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  3. I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

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  • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

    What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.

    I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.

    JéjéM This user is from outside of this forum
    JéjéM This user is from outside of this forum
    Jéjé
    wrote last edited by
    #29

    @vkc sorry about all that crap. Some people are using their anonymity to reveal their real nature that can be awful. And because they may read you every day, they think they know you intimately so they suppose they're allowed to tell you anything they want. That's difficult to ignore these haters when you're their target. I hope you'll be able to get over it.

    1 Reply Last reply
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    • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

      I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

      It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

      I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

      Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

      C SC This user is from outside of this forum
      C SC This user is from outside of this forum
      C S
      wrote last edited by
      #30

      @vkc I'm sorry about how Fedi is treating you. I sometimes forget that my own Fedi bubble is benign not because Fedi as a whole is benign, but because I put in the effort to aggressively block any content I don't like, *and* I don't have a visible enough presence that would encourage the undesirables to circumvent my block list.

      Social media can be garbage, and if you do need a break I will be sad because I enjoy your content, but please do put your own mental health first if you need to.

      Best wishes...

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

        I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

        It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

        I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

        Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

        DexT This user is from outside of this forum
        DexT This user is from outside of this forum
        Dex
        wrote last edited by
        #31

        @vkc Thanks for speaking openly about this, Veronica. I cannot fully understand your situation, but I can relate to being harassed in an invisible way and I wouldn't wish that on anyone else. I wouldn't want to see you leave Fedi, but I also wouldn't blame you if you did.

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        • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

          When people say "Veronica loves the Fediverse", they remove my agency from this place. I'm a character. They're the narrator. I don't like that.

          I think for a lot of folks, Fedi is sweet. It's quiet. It's slow. But for many, many, many of us, it's this slow-rolling insanity machine where you see the WORST THINGS and nobody else does.

          And to be frank and clear, I'm just talking about things from my white US perspective. I don't even get the worst of it, and I recognize that.

          dlaroeD This user is from outside of this forum
          dlaroeD This user is from outside of this forum
          dlaroe
          wrote last edited by
          #32

          @vkc

          You are surely frank and clear.

          You sharing stuff like this is really valuable to me as a white, cisgendered, heterosexual, male, with a low volume account. My privileges stack in such a way that I see none of the bad actor interactions you do.

          Thank you for sharing what those who aren't even the worst of us in the Fediverse are doing so we all can know at least that much.

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

            @McNeely I think it's unique to decentralization. If your instance blocked a baddie before they post in my replies, you don't see it and I do. In centralized social media, a mass of reports is enough to ban an account and get their posts mass-deleted. That just can't happen here.

            Shadow GliderS This user is from outside of this forum
            Shadow GliderS This user is from outside of this forum
            Shadow Glider
            wrote last edited by
            #33

            @vkc @McNeely Perhaps reports could be federated and an instance can set it so that if an account has over a certain amount of reports posts/replies have to be manually approved?

            Not sure how much this would help but it feels like it could help somewhat, obvs if this is a bad idea please tell me

            BredrollB 1 Reply Last reply
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            • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

              I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

              It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

              I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

              Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

              ClassWarioC This user is from outside of this forum
              ClassWarioC This user is from outside of this forum
              ClassWario
              wrote last edited by
              #34

              @vkc This platform needs more editing (and anger) aimed at it. This is my third account because I get frustrated at what it is (then come back here for what it should be).

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                @sashin I get things that are illegal if I retransmit them

                BredrollB This user is from outside of this forum
                BredrollB This user is from outside of this forum
                Bredroll
                wrote last edited by
                #35

                @vkc @sashin i wonder if fedi has a community block list feature

                Ner 🕯️N 1 Reply Last reply
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                • Shadow GliderS Shadow Glider

                  @vkc @McNeely Perhaps reports could be federated and an instance can set it so that if an account has over a certain amount of reports posts/replies have to be manually approved?

                  Not sure how much this would help but it feels like it could help somewhat, obvs if this is a bad idea please tell me

                  BredrollB This user is from outside of this forum
                  BredrollB This user is from outside of this forum
                  Bredroll
                  wrote last edited by
                  #36

                  @Shadow_Glider @vkc @McNeely i do wonder if its more costly to manage federated or honepot blocking than the bad actors just creating more accounts

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                    I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                    It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                    I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                    Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                    Chat-PirateB This user is from outside of this forum
                    Chat-PirateB This user is from outside of this forum
                    Chat-Pirate
                    wrote last edited by
                    #37

                    @vkc sorry you have to got through this. Did you notice the content to the server's admin (really asking, not saying you have to)?

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                      What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.

                      I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.

                      Osma A 🇫🇮🇺🇦O This user is from outside of this forum
                      Osma A 🇫🇮🇺🇦O This user is from outside of this forum
                      Osma A 🇫🇮🇺🇦
                      wrote last edited by
                      #38

                      Thanks for being here, and thanks for speaking out. This won't ever get better without first acknowledging it's not good.
                      @vkc

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                        @McNeely I think it's unique to decentralization. If your instance blocked a baddie before they post in my replies, you don't see it and I do. In centralized social media, a mass of reports is enough to ban an account and get their posts mass-deleted. That just can't happen here.

                        FurbyF This user is from outside of this forum
                        FurbyF This user is from outside of this forum
                        Furby
                        wrote last edited by
                        #39

                        @vkc @McNeely This highlights a need for more co-ordinated efforts like The Bad Space, but less manual. @Gargron How are those imported ban lists coming along?

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                        • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                          I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                          It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                          I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                          Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                          HoboH This user is from outside of this forum
                          HoboH This user is from outside of this forum
                          Hobo
                          wrote last edited by
                          #40

                          @vkc I really appreciate your work here (as well as on YouTube), and I am glad that people like you contribute the Fediverse. Recently in German Mastodon another woman issued hate speech she is receiving on a regular basis. It‘s a shame, and it‘s simply against everything the Fediverse was built for. Please feel my/our support!

                          PS: And I apologize for my remark earlier today, which I made while not having understood well the things you were talking about.

                          1 Reply Last reply
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                          • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                            I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                            It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                            I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                            Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                            ntheltN This user is from outside of this forum
                            ntheltN This user is from outside of this forum
                            nthelt
                            wrote last edited by
                            #41

                            @vkc I appreciate you. You're welcome here.

                            I feel that moderation tools on Fedi is lacking. There should be a way for smaller instances to follow the moderation decisions of larger, more well-moderated instances. Maybe in the form of a community blocked users and instances list that updates in real time, and instances can choose to follow that 100%, or apply whitelists and blacklists to it.

                            Maybe multiple block lists, like we do with ad blocking.

                            KelsonK prince lucijaP 2 Replies Last reply
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                            • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                              I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                              It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                              I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                              Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                              MissConstrueM This user is from outside of this forum
                              MissConstrueM This user is from outside of this forum
                              MissConstrue
                              wrote last edited by
                              #42

                              @vkc Im sorry you are experiencing this. Being ovarian presenting and conscious has always been problematic for a certain subset of humans to recognize. How very dare we be autonomous. 🫂

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                              • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                                I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                                It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                                I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                                Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                                scunneen (he/him) 🚋S This user is from outside of this forum
                                scunneen (he/him) 🚋S This user is from outside of this forum
                                scunneen (he/him) 🚋
                                wrote last edited by
                                #43

                                @vkc Do you think that things would be better if fedi worked more like a network of blogs and stored comments on the server of the person who made the original post? Then deciding which comments people see is the responsibility of the original post's server, and everyone can see the same comment list. This also would allow posters to delete other peoples' comments on their posts, and to prevent people who they have blocked from commenting.

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                                • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                                  @sashin I get things that are illegal if I retransmit them

                                  toadjauneT This user is from outside of this forum
                                  toadjauneT This user is from outside of this forum
                                  toadjaune
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #44

                                  @vkc @sashin oh boy.

                                  And here I was finding just the constant influx of news from the world hard to handle already, I'm so sorry that some of you folks get much much worse 😕

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • ntheltN nthelt

                                    @vkc I appreciate you. You're welcome here.

                                    I feel that moderation tools on Fedi is lacking. There should be a way for smaller instances to follow the moderation decisions of larger, more well-moderated instances. Maybe in the form of a community blocked users and instances list that updates in real time, and instances can choose to follow that 100%, or apply whitelists and blacklists to it.

                                    Maybe multiple block lists, like we do with ad blocking.

                                    KelsonK This user is from outside of this forum
                                    KelsonK This user is from outside of this forum
                                    Kelson
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #45

                                    @vkc @nthelt There's work being done on that by some of the non-mastodon software at least. I've got my GoToSocial instance pulling blocklists from IFTAS automatically and from TBS in draft mode.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                                      I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                                      It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                                      I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                                      Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                                      MinaM This user is from outside of this forum
                                      MinaM This user is from outside of this forum
                                      Mina
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #46

                                      @vkc

                                      Just sending a few hugs your way.

                                      I love your YouTube channel, and I was so happy to find you here, too.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • BredrollB Bredroll

                                        @vkc @sashin i wonder if fedi has a community block list feature

                                        Ner 🕯️N This user is from outside of this forum
                                        Ner 🕯️N This user is from outside of this forum
                                        Ner 🕯️
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #47

                                        @Bredroll @vkc @sashin
                                        So black people tried / managed to create some because they get the shit fast and violent like really violent. I mean other people of color too but black people , especially black queers and black women spearheaded that.

                                        They got harassed many many times over this.
                                        Eg the bad place, but even the hashtag fediblock exists because they had to fight back, ...
                                        Some people still continue to maintain some.
                                        Some people left over that.
                                        Some people left and came back.

                                        AND the devs of most fediverse software actively préfèred working on other stuff than the features they asked for for their safety.
                                        ( Trying to remember the names I can think of Ro / at aroh and a Caribbean MarciaX I think who really led 🤔 not sure , seyrin and oliphant also who proposed stuff there was many times this discussion, I think )

                                        And yes part of it is that choosing an instance is choosing a moderation, but also the fact that instances safe for black people are harassed to the point of closing ( happened I saw it happen twice probably happened more ) , the fact that people are saying 'you should be fine with this couple of instances who care like it's not building fucking virtual ghettos to harass people out everywhere except there but also victim blaming' or plenty of other stuff. There needs to be a culture shift to not let the mysoginy , general racism, antiblackness and very specifically mysoginoir fly, there needs to be campaigns for actually paying the instances that do good moderation.

                                        Because until people start acting generally like 'you see something you says something' instead of coddling piece of shits abusers. And until thats the culture going to continue. And actively looking for the abuse sometimes to protect their neighbors on those internet streets. It's going to continue.

                                        Also 2 Pb : people recreating accounts ( how many times have I see a post on fediblock 'hey you remember this harasser, well they created another account with one letter changed into a number now that everyone has blocked them) - don't really know how to solve this one, when you block someone they can still see your public posts because of how the federation works and how it's open to the whole internet. That one I think there should be something developed in between public / shadowed public posts and people who follow you posts because that enables stalkers and harassers big time. And to fix this problem has been asked for 10 years by now.

                                        Did I mention black people have been shouting into the void for the last 10 years from what I gathered ( I am here since 2022 but fediblock happened 2016 or 2017 because of harassment campaigns) ?

                                        BredrollB 1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                                          I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                                          It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                                          I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                                          Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                                          S This user is from outside of this forum
                                          S This user is from outside of this forum
                                          SomeVeganCheeseIsOk
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #48

                                          @vkc yeah there's a lot of fringe folks here. Both in the good sense and the bad sense. The Internet is a public space, and that means we get to experience all the stuff that comes with that.

                                          I am mostly grateful even for the weird ugly sad parts, because that's how you know it's real.

                                          dpflugD 1 Reply Last reply
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