OUCH!
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I too was concerned for their wellbeing afterwards.
And they don't have the option of doing what that lady who left after 20 minutes did.
JdeBP (@JdeBP@mastodon.scot)
@GetCarter@mastodonapp.uk Who on Earth were those three people in Islington? And are they alright afterwards? https://mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/melania-trump-suffers-humiliating-blow-36629616 #Melania #MelaniaTrump #USMovies #VueCinema #Islington
mastodon.scot (mastodon.scot)
The Daily Record reported a total of 16 tickets sold in Edinburgh and Glasgow as of this morning. ABC reported 50 pre-booked tickets across the whole of Australia for opening day.
Melania Trump documentary sells just 16 tickets in Scotland for opening day
The low sales reflect a global trend of disinterest in Melania, a feature-length documentary produced by Amazon.
Daily Record (dailyrecord.co.uk)
Fewer than 50 tickets pre-sold as Melania movie opens with a whimper
Dire box office sales surrounding the US first lady's bio-doc have made headlines, but some argue there's likely a good reason Jeff Bezos's Amazon MGM Studios has splashed so much cash on MELANIA.
(abc.net.au)
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OUCH! "It’s one of those rare, unicorn films that doesn’t have a single redeeming quality. I’m not even sure it qualifies as a documentary, exactly, so much as an elaborate piece of designer taxidermy, horribly overpriced and ice-cold to the touch"
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2026/jan/30/melania-review-trump-film-is-a-gilded-trash-remake-of-the-zone-of-interest@cstross Nice comparison here to The Zone of Interest.
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@503bartley @cstross in the UK for me, the book was on the second page last night. It’s is now 20th on the first page, and about halfway down! Keep up the amazing work everyone!
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The book is perfect: It's absurd, the cover is ridiculous, and it's free, so we're not giving Amazon any money.
redditors have already pushed the book high: It's currently the 15th result when you search "Melania Trump." That's crazy. 2 days ago it wasn't even on the first page. With a little more push, we can keep this moving up the charts. We just need people to:
"Buy" the book (it's free)
Share this post and get other people to buy the book. {MORE}@503bartley @cstross
Done. Maybe I should have had more gin first. Still, it's done. -
OUCH! "It’s one of those rare, unicorn films that doesn’t have a single redeeming quality. I’m not even sure it qualifies as a documentary, exactly, so much as an elaborate piece of designer taxidermy, horribly overpriced and ice-cold to the touch"
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2026/jan/30/melania-review-trump-film-is-a-gilded-trash-remake-of-the-zone-of-interest@cstross
“designer taxidermy” seems appropriate…
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OUCH! "It’s one of those rare, unicorn films that doesn’t have a single redeeming quality. I’m not even sure it qualifies as a documentary, exactly, so much as an elaborate piece of designer taxidermy, horribly overpriced and ice-cold to the touch"
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2026/jan/30/melania-review-trump-film-is-a-gilded-trash-remake-of-the-zone-of-interest@cstross "Triumph of the Shill"
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The book is perfect: It's absurd, the cover is ridiculous, and it's free, so we're not giving Amazon any money.
redditors have already pushed the book high: It's currently the 15th result when you search "Melania Trump." That's crazy. 2 days ago it wasn't even on the first page. With a little more push, we can keep this moving up the charts. We just need people to:
"Buy" the book (it's free)
Share this post and get other people to buy the book. {MORE}@503bartley @cstross It was #2 when I searched!
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They're not far off, either.
I just turned up this. Apparently, 4 people joined The Metro's reviewer on opening night, plus an additional 1 who was apparently another movie reviewer.
So a third of the audience was people who were being paid to watch the movie. (-:
I sat in a near-empty cinema for Melania - here's what I thought
Journalist Kimberley Bond was one of only a handful of people at her screening of the controversial new documentary about the life of the First Lady.
Metro (metro.co.uk)
Amusing coincidence: Kimberley Bond also writes features for Cosmo.
@GetCarter
#Melania #MelaniaTrump #USMovies #Amazon #TheMetro> As she ignores the excesses of her husband’s second term – the name-calling, the immigration raids, the stifling of decent, I’m [...]
Slightly amusing Freudian slip there - along with the dissent, he definitely does stifle the decent, also!
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@cstross
reddit.com/r/esist/comments/1qqqe05/get_in_were_messing_up_melanias_amazon_searchGet in. We're messing up Melania's Amazon search results
This weekend, Amazon is premiering its $40 million Melania Trump documentary. It already seems to be a flop.
But we're going to take it one step further by messing up Melania's Amazon search results. Specifically, we're going to amplify the paranormal erotic thriller novel Melania: Devourer of Men so it ranks higher than her movie. {MORE}Ok, Monsterdon fans, are you willing to allow a spyware visible search on Amazon for a novel titled *’Melania: Devourer of Men’* in the interest of the greater good?
It’s currently selling for $6.53 on Amazon.ca if you really want a paperback copy but the ebook download is free.
Reddit has proposed an effort to get this trending.
️️️️️️️ -
@503bartley @cstross It’s number 2 as of 30 seconds ago, for me at least
@UweHalfHand @503bartley @cstross Congratulations, it's #1 now. For both "Melania" and "Melania Trump". We did it!
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OUCH! "It’s one of those rare, unicorn films that doesn’t have a single redeeming quality. I’m not even sure it qualifies as a documentary, exactly, so much as an elaborate piece of designer taxidermy, horribly overpriced and ice-cold to the touch"
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2026/jan/30/melania-review-trump-film-is-a-gilded-trash-remake-of-the-zone-of-interest@cstross "White and gold – that’s so you,” purrs one of her lickspittles... Lickspittles!
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OUCH! "It’s one of those rare, unicorn films that doesn’t have a single redeeming quality. I’m not even sure it qualifies as a documentary, exactly, so much as an elaborate piece of designer taxidermy, horribly overpriced and ice-cold to the touch"
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2026/jan/30/melania-review-trump-film-is-a-gilded-trash-remake-of-the-zone-of-interest@cstross
this is the opposite of the hooker with a heart of gold trope, i''m guessing -
I too was concerned for their wellbeing afterwards.
And they don't have the option of doing what that lady who left after 20 minutes did.
JdeBP (@JdeBP@mastodon.scot)
@GetCarter@mastodonapp.uk Who on Earth were those three people in Islington? And are they alright afterwards? https://mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/melania-trump-suffers-humiliating-blow-36629616 #Melania #MelaniaTrump #USMovies #VueCinema #Islington
mastodon.scot (mastodon.scot)
The Daily Record reported a total of 16 tickets sold in Edinburgh and Glasgow as of this morning. ABC reported 50 pre-booked tickets across the whole of Australia for opening day.
Melania Trump documentary sells just 16 tickets in Scotland for opening day
The low sales reflect a global trend of disinterest in Melania, a feature-length documentary produced by Amazon.
Daily Record (dailyrecord.co.uk)
Fewer than 50 tickets pre-sold as Melania movie opens with a whimper
Dire box office sales surrounding the US first lady's bio-doc have made headlines, but some argue there's likely a good reason Jeff Bezos's Amazon MGM Studios has splashed so much cash on MELANIA.
(abc.net.au)
@JdeBP Reviewers. Because the only people turning up for this are *paid* to be there
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@cstross
reddit.com/r/esist/comments/1qqqe05/get_in_were_messing_up_melanias_amazon_searchGet in. We're messing up Melania's Amazon search results
This weekend, Amazon is premiering its $40 million Melania Trump documentary. It already seems to be a flop.
But we're going to take it one step further by messing up Melania's Amazon search results. Specifically, we're going to amplify the paranormal erotic thriller novel Melania: Devourer of Men so it ranks higher than her movie. {MORE}@503bartley @cstross done. It showed as 1st in Canada.
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@cstross
reddit.com/r/esist/comments/1qqqe05/get_in_were_messing_up_melanias_amazon_searchGet in. We're messing up Melania's Amazon search results
This weekend, Amazon is premiering its $40 million Melania Trump documentary. It already seems to be a flop.
But we're going to take it one step further by messing up Melania's Amazon search results. Specifically, we're going to amplify the paranormal erotic thriller novel Melania: Devourer of Men so it ranks higher than her movie. {MORE}@503bartley @cstross It was the second result for "melania" when I searched. I'd be shocked if Amazon doesn't have a "force as top result" bit for their in-house items, but I'd be happy to be wrong!
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@CurlyParakeet @richrockster @503bartley @cstross @jwz searching from an account that hasn’t looked at it, it comes up second in a search on Amazon for Melania when I checked just now.
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OUCH! "It’s one of those rare, unicorn films that doesn’t have a single redeeming quality. I’m not even sure it qualifies as a documentary, exactly, so much as an elaborate piece of designer taxidermy, horribly overpriced and ice-cold to the touch"
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2026/jan/30/melania-review-trump-film-is-a-gilded-trash-remake-of-the-zone-of-interest@cstross It can’t be a documentary if it’s propaganda. The two categories are mutually exclusive.
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They're not far off, either.
I just turned up this. Apparently, 4 people joined The Metro's reviewer on opening night, plus an additional 1 who was apparently another movie reviewer.
So a third of the audience was people who were being paid to watch the movie. (-:
I sat in a near-empty cinema for Melania - here's what I thought
Journalist Kimberley Bond was one of only a handful of people at her screening of the controversial new documentary about the life of the First Lady.
Metro (metro.co.uk)
Amusing coincidence: Kimberley Bond also writes features for Cosmo.
@GetCarter
#Melania #MelaniaTrump #USMovies #Amazon #TheMetro@JdeBP @cstross @GetCarter not paid enough, just like the human reviewers Big Tech hires to monitor for CSAM in poor countries like the Philippines and who experience PTSD as a result.
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OUCH! "It’s one of those rare, unicorn films that doesn’t have a single redeeming quality. I’m not even sure it qualifies as a documentary, exactly, so much as an elaborate piece of designer taxidermy, horribly overpriced and ice-cold to the touch"
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2026/jan/30/melania-review-trump-film-is-a-gilded-trash-remake-of-the-zone-of-interest@cstross Whew, thanks for the heads up.
LOL. I wasn't going to see it.
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The book is perfect: It's absurd, the cover is ridiculous, and it's free, so we're not giving Amazon any money.
redditors have already pushed the book high: It's currently the 15th result when you search "Melania Trump." That's crazy. 2 days ago it wasn't even on the first page. With a little more push, we can keep this moving up the charts. We just need people to:
"Buy" the book (it's free)
Share this post and get other people to buy the book. {MORE}@503bartley @cstross Done! I absolutely love this idea. Use Amazon against itself.
