OUCH!
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They're not far off, either.
I just turned up this. Apparently, 4 people joined The Metro's reviewer on opening night, plus an additional 1 who was apparently another movie reviewer.
So a third of the audience was people who were being paid to watch the movie. (-:
I sat in a near-empty cinema for Melania - here's what I thought
Journalist Kimberley Bond was one of only a handful of people at her screening of the controversial new documentary about the life of the First Lady.
Metro (metro.co.uk)
Amusing coincidence: Kimberley Bond also writes features for Cosmo.
@GetCarter
#Melania #MelaniaTrump #USMovies #Amazon #TheMetro> As she ignores the excesses of her husband’s second term – the name-calling, the immigration raids, the stifling of decent, I’m [...]
Slightly amusing Freudian slip there - along with the dissent, he definitely does stifle the decent, also!
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@cstross
reddit.com/r/esist/comments/1qqqe05/get_in_were_messing_up_melanias_amazon_searchGet in. We're messing up Melania's Amazon search results
This weekend, Amazon is premiering its $40 million Melania Trump documentary. It already seems to be a flop.
But we're going to take it one step further by messing up Melania's Amazon search results. Specifically, we're going to amplify the paranormal erotic thriller novel Melania: Devourer of Men so it ranks higher than her movie. {MORE}Ok, Monsterdon fans, are you willing to allow a spyware visible search on Amazon for a novel titled *’Melania: Devourer of Men’* in the interest of the greater good?
It’s currently selling for $6.53 on Amazon.ca if you really want a paperback copy but the ebook download is free.
Reddit has proposed an effort to get this trending.
️️️️️️️ -
@503bartley @cstross It’s number 2 as of 30 seconds ago, for me at least
@UweHalfHand @503bartley @cstross Congratulations, it's #1 now. For both "Melania" and "Melania Trump". We did it!
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OUCH! "It’s one of those rare, unicorn films that doesn’t have a single redeeming quality. I’m not even sure it qualifies as a documentary, exactly, so much as an elaborate piece of designer taxidermy, horribly overpriced and ice-cold to the touch"
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2026/jan/30/melania-review-trump-film-is-a-gilded-trash-remake-of-the-zone-of-interest@cstross "White and gold – that’s so you,” purrs one of her lickspittles... Lickspittles!
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OUCH! "It’s one of those rare, unicorn films that doesn’t have a single redeeming quality. I’m not even sure it qualifies as a documentary, exactly, so much as an elaborate piece of designer taxidermy, horribly overpriced and ice-cold to the touch"
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2026/jan/30/melania-review-trump-film-is-a-gilded-trash-remake-of-the-zone-of-interest@cstross
this is the opposite of the hooker with a heart of gold trope, i''m guessing -
I too was concerned for their wellbeing afterwards.
And they don't have the option of doing what that lady who left after 20 minutes did.
JdeBP (@JdeBP@mastodon.scot)
@GetCarter@mastodonapp.uk Who on Earth were those three people in Islington? And are they alright afterwards? https://mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/melania-trump-suffers-humiliating-blow-36629616 #Melania #MelaniaTrump #USMovies #VueCinema #Islington
mastodon.scot (mastodon.scot)
The Daily Record reported a total of 16 tickets sold in Edinburgh and Glasgow as of this morning. ABC reported 50 pre-booked tickets across the whole of Australia for opening day.
Melania Trump documentary sells just 16 tickets in Scotland for opening day
The low sales reflect a global trend of disinterest in Melania, a feature-length documentary produced by Amazon.
Daily Record (dailyrecord.co.uk)
Fewer than 50 tickets pre-sold as Melania movie opens with a whimper
Dire box office sales surrounding the US first lady's bio-doc have made headlines, but some argue there's likely a good reason Jeff Bezos's Amazon MGM Studios has splashed so much cash on MELANIA.
(abc.net.au)
@JdeBP Reviewers. Because the only people turning up for this are *paid* to be there
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@cstross
reddit.com/r/esist/comments/1qqqe05/get_in_were_messing_up_melanias_amazon_searchGet in. We're messing up Melania's Amazon search results
This weekend, Amazon is premiering its $40 million Melania Trump documentary. It already seems to be a flop.
But we're going to take it one step further by messing up Melania's Amazon search results. Specifically, we're going to amplify the paranormal erotic thriller novel Melania: Devourer of Men so it ranks higher than her movie. {MORE}@503bartley @cstross done. It showed as 1st in Canada.
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@cstross
reddit.com/r/esist/comments/1qqqe05/get_in_were_messing_up_melanias_amazon_searchGet in. We're messing up Melania's Amazon search results
This weekend, Amazon is premiering its $40 million Melania Trump documentary. It already seems to be a flop.
But we're going to take it one step further by messing up Melania's Amazon search results. Specifically, we're going to amplify the paranormal erotic thriller novel Melania: Devourer of Men so it ranks higher than her movie. {MORE}@503bartley @cstross It was the second result for "melania" when I searched. I'd be shocked if Amazon doesn't have a "force as top result" bit for their in-house items, but I'd be happy to be wrong!
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@CurlyParakeet @richrockster @503bartley @cstross @jwz searching from an account that hasn’t looked at it, it comes up second in a search on Amazon for Melania when I checked just now.
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OUCH! "It’s one of those rare, unicorn films that doesn’t have a single redeeming quality. I’m not even sure it qualifies as a documentary, exactly, so much as an elaborate piece of designer taxidermy, horribly overpriced and ice-cold to the touch"
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2026/jan/30/melania-review-trump-film-is-a-gilded-trash-remake-of-the-zone-of-interest@cstross It can’t be a documentary if it’s propaganda. The two categories are mutually exclusive.
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They're not far off, either.
I just turned up this. Apparently, 4 people joined The Metro's reviewer on opening night, plus an additional 1 who was apparently another movie reviewer.
So a third of the audience was people who were being paid to watch the movie. (-:
I sat in a near-empty cinema for Melania - here's what I thought
Journalist Kimberley Bond was one of only a handful of people at her screening of the controversial new documentary about the life of the First Lady.
Metro (metro.co.uk)
Amusing coincidence: Kimberley Bond also writes features for Cosmo.
@GetCarter
#Melania #MelaniaTrump #USMovies #Amazon #TheMetro@JdeBP @cstross @GetCarter not paid enough, just like the human reviewers Big Tech hires to monitor for CSAM in poor countries like the Philippines and who experience PTSD as a result.
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OUCH! "It’s one of those rare, unicorn films that doesn’t have a single redeeming quality. I’m not even sure it qualifies as a documentary, exactly, so much as an elaborate piece of designer taxidermy, horribly overpriced and ice-cold to the touch"
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2026/jan/30/melania-review-trump-film-is-a-gilded-trash-remake-of-the-zone-of-interest@cstross Whew, thanks for the heads up.
LOL. I wasn't going to see it.
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The book is perfect: It's absurd, the cover is ridiculous, and it's free, so we're not giving Amazon any money.
redditors have already pushed the book high: It's currently the 15th result when you search "Melania Trump." That's crazy. 2 days ago it wasn't even on the first page. With a little more push, we can keep this moving up the charts. We just need people to:
"Buy" the book (it's free)
Share this post and get other people to buy the book. {MORE}@503bartley @cstross Done! I absolutely love this idea. Use Amazon against itself.
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@UweHalfHand @503bartley @cstross For me too. #2 for both "Melania" and "Melania Trump".
It's rising on Amazon Germany too. #3 for "Melania" and #4 for "Melania Trump".
@Corax42 @UweHalfHand @503bartley @cstross
Currently 2nd on the list! -
I too was concerned for their wellbeing afterwards.
And they don't have the option of doing what that lady who left after 20 minutes did.
JdeBP (@JdeBP@mastodon.scot)
@GetCarter@mastodonapp.uk Who on Earth were those three people in Islington? And are they alright afterwards? https://mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/melania-trump-suffers-humiliating-blow-36629616 #Melania #MelaniaTrump #USMovies #VueCinema #Islington
mastodon.scot (mastodon.scot)
The Daily Record reported a total of 16 tickets sold in Edinburgh and Glasgow as of this morning. ABC reported 50 pre-booked tickets across the whole of Australia for opening day.
Melania Trump documentary sells just 16 tickets in Scotland for opening day
The low sales reflect a global trend of disinterest in Melania, a feature-length documentary produced by Amazon.
Daily Record (dailyrecord.co.uk)
Fewer than 50 tickets pre-sold as Melania movie opens with a whimper
Dire box office sales surrounding the US first lady's bio-doc have made headlines, but some argue there's likely a good reason Jeff Bezos's Amazon MGM Studios has splashed so much cash on MELANIA.
(abc.net.au)
@JdeBP Charlie the Anti-Fascist Dog @cstross (surprisingly, many reviewers do not sit through a whole performance. make of that what you will.)
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Ok, Monsterdon fans, are you willing to allow a spyware visible search on Amazon for a novel titled *’Melania: Devourer of Men’* in the interest of the greater good?
It’s currently selling for $6.53 on Amazon.ca if you really want a paperback copy but the ebook download is free.
Reddit has proposed an effort to get this trending.
️️️️️️️@AlsoPaisleyCat This is simultaneously petty and brilliant. I am almost tempted to make an account on amazon for this.
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Ok, Monsterdon fans, are you willing to allow a spyware visible search on Amazon for a novel titled *’Melania: Devourer of Men’* in the interest of the greater good?
It’s currently selling for $6.53 on Amazon.ca if you really want a paperback copy but the ebook download is free.
Reddit has proposed an effort to get this trending.
️️️️️️️@AlsoPaisleyCat @503bartley @cstross So how does this work, we just go to Amazon and search for "Melania: Devourer of Men" and that's it?
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@AlsoPaisleyCat @503bartley @cstross So how does this work, we just go to Amazon and search for "Melania: Devourer of Men" and that's it?
Searching helps it move up in search results but downloading the free ebook would help even more.
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Searching helps it move up in search results but downloading the free ebook would help even more.
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@AlsoPaisleyCat @503bartley @cstross This would be my first Kindle ebook ever lol
