Wandering Adventure Party

@loke Please do this. 🥺

Finally home. Kicking up my feet.

Tiring day, but putting the finishing touches on a panel I’m doing tomorrow for #FediCon.

Boarded the bus.

I let the woman behind me go in front of me, and she gave me a weird look.

Look, the reason why I wanted her to go in front of me is because the train packed. I’m a big dude. She’s a tiny lady. I don’t want to make sure everyone’s comfortable before I get on.

Whenever I’m by myself in the train, and a stranger makes eye contact with me—and their expression is blank—what do I even do?

I feel so awkward.

@LinuxAndYarn We need gospel tracts.

Elderly couple just exited the train.

Woman just thanked the bearded man.

After they left, bearded man sat in their old seat.

Young drunk man is now nodding off.

Middle-aged dude with a beard just stood between the elderly couple and the young man.

Young man doesn’t like that, but he shut up.

On the train, watching absolute chaos unfold.

An elderly drunk couple. A drunk young guy.

The young guy keeps hitting on the elderly woman. She keeps shutting him down.

Her partner? Staring daggers.

Each rejection just makes the kid louder.

Just spoke about federated gaming with @evan and @deadsuperhero.

Some killer ideas!

My Akkoma client crashed after I posted that COBOL code.

IDENTIFICATION DIVISION.
PROGRAM-ID. POST-TO-FEDIVERSE.

DATA DIVISION.
WORKING-STORAGE SECTION.
01 POST-CONTENT         PIC X(280) VALUE
   "HELLO FEDIVERSE. THIS MESSAGE APPROVED BY 1978. STOP.".
01 HASHTAGS             PIC X(60) VALUE
   "#PDPAPPROVED #IHEARTGRACEHOPPER".
01 SERVER-ACK           PIC X(10) VALUE "PENDING".
01 REPLY-CODE           PIC 9(3) VALUE 000.

PROCEDURE DIVISION.
POST-MESSAGE.
    DISPLAY "CONNECTING TO FEDIVERSE MAINFRAME..."
    PERFORM VARYING REPLY-CODE FROM 001 BY 001 UNTIL REPLY-CODE > 003
        DISPLAY "SENDING PACKET " REPLY-CODE "..."
    END-PERFORM

    DISPLAY "MESSAGE: " POST-CONTENT
    DISPLAY "TAGS: " HASHTAGS

    MOVE "SUCCESS" TO SERVER-ACK
    DISPLAY "SERVER ACK: " SERVER-ACK
    DISPLAY "POST COMPLETE. EXPECT DELIVERY BY Q3."

    STOP RUN.

You know what the #Fediverse needs? COBOL.

Not for speed. Not for elegance. Just so every post feels like it’s being processed by a 1970s mainframe with cigarette burns on the console.

#FediCon

Are decentralized web fans called “dweebs”?

Asking for a friend.

#FediCon

@Infrapink God damn it. You win.

This is what I should have said.

Lots of talk about evil overlords at #FediCon.

I, for one, seek to be your evil overlord.

Not the world-destroying kind. More the “forcing my minions to alphabetize every USB cable in the supply closet by connector type” kind.

It’s important to nurture your evil at a sustainable, ergonomic pace.

@TerryHancock I kid. No sponsorship happened. That’s just the projector’s save screen when it’s not used.

Please don’t sue me, Sony.

#Fediverse. Sponsored by Sony.

Play Has No Limits.

#FediCon

EXCUSE ME.

Did you just say “Bluesky”? Oh my sweet summer child.

Bluesky is an app. A skin. A pair of jorts on the glorious, chiseled thighs of the AT Protocol. Without ATProto, Bluesky is just a glorified text file that can’t even remember its own posts.

Every time you say “Bluesky” without the AT Protocol, somewhere in San Francisco, an engineer cries into a Lexicon schema. A PDS spontaneously combusts. A DID gets stranded in the PLC registry, cold and alone.

You think you’re “posting on Bluesky”? No. You’re posting on Bluesky + AT Protocol, a decentralized marvel that hand-delivers your hot take about iced coffee across federated servers like a protocol-powered DoorDash.

You wouldn’t say “I’m on Mastodon” without ActivityPub. You wouldn’t say “I’m using email” without acknowledging SMTP, IMAP, POP3, DKIM, SPF, and seventeen haunted RFCs.

So please—respect the protocol. Next time you’re bragging about your post getting 3 likes and a repost from someone with a checkmark, remember:

IT’S BLUESKY + AT PROTOCOL.

And if you forget again, I will personally fork your repo, write a custom lexicon called “Shame,” and federate it to every PDS in existence.

#FediCon

@Godefroy_B How people interact on the Fediverse really is how people interact in real life.

@TerryHancock I don’t need to be the figurehead of anything. However, I have ideas.