wow godzilla: final wars is on and it's like they definitely saw the matrix and x men and it has a kind of mid 2000s michael bay misogyny too.

oh but that's akira takarada!

any time i look back on something from the early-mid 2000s i think no wonder high school was so terrible. everything was Like This

they even brought back Minilla for this, the mutated avocado abomination.

i think i said there was too much plot for the amount of movie there was with Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla from 1975 so through that lens i spose this movie is fairly appropriate. it's just one flashy spectacle after another

the female characters are worse than they were in some of the 90s ones. like they all have to be hot and everybody has to say so?

there's a biologist who is played by a model and everybody goes "wow, she looks like a model, not a biologist" and every time she's on screen it's about how she's hot. now it has revealed she also has a hot sister

the fairies on infant island are wearing crop tops

they bring in the colonel who is the one white actor who mostly barks things in english and he looks at the two women, winks, and says "nice work" in english

well now i just read that the director wanted a movie with all action and no talking and specifically cited Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla. but this one doesn't even have any plaid or turtlenecks to redeem it

Colonel One-Liner is still only saying one-liners in English while everyone else speaks Japanese. They're not even good ones. Like, "We've got company"

somehow Minilla (they're calling him Minya here) is the only redeeming thing about this movie. And I am not sure if I have made clear how much I hate all of Godzilla's adopted children

"But forestine, why are you even still watching this?"

it's like how bad pizza is still pizza

this week's monsterdon pick everybody ^