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  3. I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

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  • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

    When people say "Veronica loves the Fediverse", they remove my agency from this place. I'm a character. They're the narrator. I don't like that.

    I think for a lot of folks, Fedi is sweet. It's quiet. It's slow. But for many, many, many of us, it's this slow-rolling insanity machine where you see the WORST THINGS and nobody else does.

    And to be frank and clear, I'm just talking about things from my white US perspective. I don't even get the worst of it, and I recognize that.

    McNeelyM This user is from outside of this forum
    McNeelyM This user is from outside of this forum
    McNeely
    wrote last edited by
    #7

    @vkc do you think this is unique to the Fediverse or does all social media suck ass over a certain follower threshold? I see people with "large" accounts and from the way they talk it seems clear they experience social media differently than most people

    Veronica ExplainsV 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

      What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.

      I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.

      bytebroB This user is from outside of this forum
      bytebroB This user is from outside of this forum
      bytebro
      wrote last edited by
      #8

      @vkc

      I don't know. I just block the obvious twats, and mute the remaining annoying ones. We all deal with this shit differently!

      Veronica ExplainsV 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

        What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.

        I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.

        eblu 🐘E This user is from outside of this forum
        eblu 🐘E This user is from outside of this forum
        eblu 🐘
        wrote last edited by
        #9

        @vkc I think it's super important to expose all that. keep it up, nobody's going to talk about it otherwise

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • McNeelyM McNeely

          @vkc do you think this is unique to the Fediverse or does all social media suck ass over a certain follower threshold? I see people with "large" accounts and from the way they talk it seems clear they experience social media differently than most people

          Veronica ExplainsV This user is from outside of this forum
          Veronica ExplainsV This user is from outside of this forum
          Veronica Explains
          wrote last edited by
          #10

          @McNeely I think it's unique to decentralization. If your instance blocked a baddie before they post in my replies, you don't see it and I do. In centralized social media, a mass of reports is enough to ban an account and get their posts mass-deleted. That just can't happen here.

          McNeelyM Shadow GliderS FurbyF 3 Replies Last reply
          0
          • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

            I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

            It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

            I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

            Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

            Ben S.H This user is from outside of this forum
            Ben S.H This user is from outside of this forum
            Ben S.
            wrote last edited by
            #11

            @vkc I do not consent to your harassers being gatekeepers of who belongs here. You belong here. You make this place better.

            Ben S.H 1 Reply Last reply
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            • bytebroB bytebro

              @vkc

              I don't know. I just block the obvious twats, and mute the remaining annoying ones. We all deal with this shit differently!

              Veronica ExplainsV This user is from outside of this forum
              Veronica ExplainsV This user is from outside of this forum
              Veronica Explains
              wrote last edited by
              #12

              @bytebro oh my god you missed the point 10000%

              bytebroB 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                @McNeely I think it's unique to decentralization. If your instance blocked a baddie before they post in my replies, you don't see it and I do. In centralized social media, a mass of reports is enough to ban an account and get their posts mass-deleted. That just can't happen here.

                McNeelyM This user is from outside of this forum
                McNeelyM This user is from outside of this forum
                McNeely
                wrote last edited by
                #13

                @vkc ohhh yes I wasnt even thinking about that. I always think of this as "dark matter harassment" since it's not always visible to bystanders. I definitely think that's got to be one of the worst uniquely bad things about here

                Veronica ExplainsV 1 Reply Last reply
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                • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                  @bytebro oh my god you missed the point 10000%

                  bytebroB This user is from outside of this forum
                  bytebroB This user is from outside of this forum
                  bytebro
                  wrote last edited by
                  #14

                  @vkc

                  OK, sorry. It's a special talent of mine.
                  My only possible excuse is that as an ASD person I tend to take things a bit literally.

                  Obvs, no irritation or offense intended.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • McNeelyM McNeely

                    @vkc ohhh yes I wasnt even thinking about that. I always think of this as "dark matter harassment" since it's not always visible to bystanders. I definitely think that's got to be one of the worst uniquely bad things about here

                    Veronica ExplainsV This user is from outside of this forum
                    Veronica ExplainsV This user is from outside of this forum
                    Veronica Explains
                    wrote last edited by
                    #15

                    @McNeely it's super disorienting once you get to a certain threshold of followers and your notifications don't match anyone else's experience in the slightest.

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • Ben S.H Ben S.

                      @vkc I do not consent to your harassers being gatekeepers of who belongs here. You belong here. You make this place better.

                      Ben S.H This user is from outside of this forum
                      Ben S.H This user is from outside of this forum
                      Ben S.
                      wrote last edited by
                      #16

                      @vkc wow, posting that got me followed by someone from a "skinhead" instance. That's an immediate instance block from me.

                      Veronica ExplainsV 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • Ben S.H Ben S.

                        @vkc wow, posting that got me followed by someone from a "skinhead" instance. That's an immediate instance block from me.

                        Veronica ExplainsV This user is from outside of this forum
                        Veronica ExplainsV This user is from outside of this forum
                        Veronica Explains
                        wrote last edited by
                        #17

                        @HunterZ make sure to share it with your mods

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                          I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                          It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                          I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                          Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                          KhleedrilK This user is from outside of this forum
                          KhleedrilK This user is from outside of this forum
                          Khleedril
                          wrote last edited by
                          #18

                          @vkc Really sorry to hear that. My experience here is great, and you make it better. Don't know what to say. 😞

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                            I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                            It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                            I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                            Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                            Stefan BohacekS This user is from outside of this forum
                            Stefan BohacekS This user is from outside of this forum
                            Stefan Bohacek
                            wrote last edited by
                            #19

                            @vkc Very sorry you have to put up with all this, and thank you for speaking up about it.

                            Truly, truly disappointed in the community here, and the lack of tools for people to defend themselves.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                              When people say "Veronica loves the Fediverse", they remove my agency from this place. I'm a character. They're the narrator. I don't like that.

                              I think for a lot of folks, Fedi is sweet. It's quiet. It's slow. But for many, many, many of us, it's this slow-rolling insanity machine where you see the WORST THINGS and nobody else does.

                              And to be frank and clear, I'm just talking about things from my white US perspective. I don't even get the worst of it, and I recognize that.

                              D This user is from outside of this forum
                              D This user is from outside of this forum
                              Ethin Probst
                              wrote last edited by
                              #20

                              @vkc I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. This is reprehensible and is something I would expect on corporate-owned social media and not on fedi.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                                I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                                It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                                I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                                Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                                ? Offline
                                ? Offline
                                Guest
                                wrote last edited by
                                #21

                                @vkc thank you for all your clarifying and urgent work communicating about these awful circumstances. I really appreciate your candor, especially bc I know it comes at a great personal toll. I normally avoid commenting on your posts bc I don't want to be mistaken for a pompous asshole but I really want to express my bottomless gratitude for you and your work today (acknowledging that good vibes aren't solutions--theyre just what I can give right now). Thank you for everything.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                                  I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                                  It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                                  I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                                  Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                                  RosanoR This user is from outside of this forum
                                  RosanoR This user is from outside of this forum
                                  Rosano
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #22

                                  @vkc wishing you a better experience than this 🙏🏽☀️ i think we have to make space for ourselves and our own way to do things to avoid getting swallowed by the defaults

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                                    I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                                    It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                                    I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                                    Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                                    Rosy MathsR This user is from outside of this forum
                                    Rosy MathsR This user is from outside of this forum
                                    Rosy Maths
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #23

                                    @vkc @afewbugs That sucks so badly. It's why I never tried to build any kind of following while I worked in tech - whereas I feel safer speaking as a teacher. It's just too dangerous being a very visible woman in tech. 😔.
                                    I'm sure there are other industries with equally misogynistic people, but tech seems particularly bad.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                                      What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.

                                      I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.

                                      Alison WilderA This user is from outside of this forum
                                      Alison WilderA This user is from outside of this forum
                                      Alison Wilder
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #24

                                      @vkc i've had a couple of posts blow up to genuinely large levels and have seen what you mean with the vile stuff. Makes me wonder if social media is a good idea at all.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                                        What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.

                                        I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.

                                        SashinS This user is from outside of this forum
                                        SashinS This user is from outside of this forum
                                        Sashin
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #25

                                        @vkc How would you feel about sharing the really bad stuff too but with clear content warnings?

                                        Veronica ExplainsV 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • SashinS Sashin

                                          @vkc How would you feel about sharing the really bad stuff too but with clear content warnings?

                                          Veronica ExplainsV This user is from outside of this forum
                                          Veronica ExplainsV This user is from outside of this forum
                                          Veronica Explains
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #26

                                          @sashin I get things that are illegal if I retransmit them

                                          SashinS BredrollB toadjauneT 3 Replies Last reply
                                          0

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