Wandering Adventure Party

OMG, this is hilarious...https://theonion.com/grandchildren-politely-decline-david-cronenbergs-bedtime-story-offer/#TheOnion #Humor #Satire #Horror #Cinemastodon #Movies

New Eras Tour Docuseries Offers Rare Look At Taylor SwiftBURBANK, CA—Drawing back the curtain on the reclusive and mysterious life of the multiplatinum recording artist, Disney+ premiered a new six-part Eras Tour documentary Friday that offers a rare look at Taylor Swift. “Fans might know Taylor Swift’s music, but The End Of An Era goes where no form of media has ever gone before […]The post New Eras To…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/new-eras-tour-docuseries-offers-rare-look-at-taylor-swift/

Newly Unsealed Batch Of Epstein Estate Photos Contains Rare Holographic DershowitzThe post Newly Unsealed Batch Of Epstein Estate Photos Contains Rare Holographic Dershowitz appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/newly-unsealed-batch-of-epstein-estate-photos-contains-rare-holographic-dershowitz/

Frustrated Trump Struggling To Find Any Infrastructure Left In Indiana To DestroyWASHINGTON—Searching in vain for a meaningful way to retaliate after Indiana lawmakers rejected his Republican gerrymandering push, a visibly frustrated President Donald Trump was reportedly struggling Friday to find any infrastructure left in the state that could still be destroyed. “I’m looking all …#theonionhttps://theonion.com/frustrated-trump-struggling-to-find-any-infrastructure-left-in-indiana-to-destroy/

This Your Best One Yet, Report Nation’s SycophantsWASHINGTON—As they nodded their heads in approval and echoed the sentiment that “you really knocked it out of the park,” all 130 million of the nation’s sycophants expressed their firm belief that this was your best one yet, sources confirmed Friday. “We just want to say we’re really impressed with what you’re doing lately, and […]The post This Your Best One Yet,…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/this-your-best-one-yet-report-nations-sycophants/

Trump Blames High Prices On The PriceWASHINGTON—In response to criticism over his failure to alleviate the affordability crisis facing many Americans, President Donald Trump vehemently blamed high prices Friday on the price. “Prices are prices—that’s how much it costs,” said Trump, calling out Democrats as well as “disloyal” Republicans for spreading rumors that his 2024 campaign rhetoric about lowering costs had […]The po…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/trump-blames-high-prices-on-the-price/

What To Know About ‘Hamnet’Hamnet, based on the 2020 novel by Maggie O’Farrell, is an awards season frontrunner with six Golden Globe nominations. Here is everything you need to know about the film. Q: Who stars in it? A: Paul Mescal plays fuckable Shakespeare and Jessie Buckley plays his fuckable wife. Q: Who is the target audience? A: High […]The post What To Know About ‘Hamnet’ appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/what-to-know-about-hamnet/

Grandchildren Politely Decline David Cronenberg’s Bedtime Story OfferTORONTO—Assuring the 82-year-old filmmaker they could fall asleep perfectly fine without one, David Cronenberg’s grandchildren politely declined their grandfather’s offer to tell them a bedtime story, sources confirmed Monday. “Oh, that’s okay, Pop-Pop—we’re so sleepy already,” said 7-year-old Liam Cronenberg, who forced a ya…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/grandchildren-politely-decline-david-cronenbergs-bedtime-story-offer/

Tinsel Draped Over UrnThe post Tinsel Draped Over Urn appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/tinsel-draped-over-urn/

Heidi Moyer and Ted ChunThe happy couple were married by a City Hall clerk Saturday due to a nationwide pastor strike entering its sixth crippling month.The post Heidi Moyer and Ted Chun appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/heidi-moyer-and-ted-chun/

How Screen Time Affects Childhood Brain DevelopmentThe post How Screen Time Affects Childhood Brain Development appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/how-screen-time-affects-childhood-brain-development/

Tommy Lee Jones, Harrison Ford Wordlessly Grunt In Tense New ‘Actors On Actors’The post Tommy Lee Jones, Harrison Ford Wordlessly Grunt In Tense New ‘Actors On Actors’ appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/tommy-lee-jones-harrison-ford-wordlessly-grunt-in-tense-new-actors-on-actors/

Study Finds Humans Made Fire 400,000 Years AgoResearchers discovered 400,000-year-old hearth remains in what is now England, indicating early humans practiced deliberate fire-setting far earlier than previously thought. What do you think?The post Study Finds Humans Made Fire 400,000 Years Ago appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/study-finds-humans-made-fire-400000-years-ago/

Mistletoe Held Above Meatball SubThe post Mistletoe Held Above Meatball Sub appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/mistletoe-held-above-meatball-sub/

https://theonion.com/study-finds-80-of-americans-lack-social-connections-to-pull-off-heist/#Humor #TheOnion #Satire #Crime #Heist

Trump Calls Groceries ‘A Hoax’MOUNT POCONO, PA—Delivering a highly anticipated speech about the state of the economy, President Donald Trump doubled down this week on his claim that groceries were a hoax perpetrated by Democrats. “They have this new word, they’re calling it ‘groceries,’ but you can ask anybody—everybody knows food comes from restaurants,” said Trump, who claimed that […]The post Trump Calls Groceries ‘A Hoax’  appe…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/trump-calls-groceries-a-hoax/

Man Rides Disneyland Attraction 15,000 TimesA Disney superfan celebrated his 15,000th ride on the Cars-themed Radiator Springs Racers at Disney California Adventure, having documented every go-around since 2012. What do you think?The post Man Rides Disneyland Attraction 15,000 Times appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/man-rides-disneyland-attraction-15000-times/

Rubio Orders State Department Braille Signage Switch To ‘Times New Roman’The post Rubio Orders State Department Braille Signage Switch To ‘Times New Roman’ appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/rubio-orders-state-department-braille-signage-switch-to-times-new-roman/

Artist Profile: KatseyeGirl group Katseye is nominated for two awards at the 2026 Grammys, including Best New Artist. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the group. Genre: Popular girl’s bat mitzvah Number Of Members: Four full-time and two who don’t know they’re part-time Biggest Hit: “She’ll Be Coming ’Round The Mountain” Fandom Name: Consumers […]The post Artist Profile: Katseye appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/artist-profile-katseye/

Mom’s Eyes Roll Back In Head At Dinner Table As She Feeds On Family’s Enjoyment Of FoodMARBLEHEAD, MA—Her body seizing with energy after hearing the request from her youngest son to pass the asparagus, local mother Christina Nadler’s eyes reportedly rolled back in her head Thursday as she fed on her family’s enjoyment of the dinner she had prepared. “Yes, yes, ask for another …#theonionhttps://theonion.com/moms-eyes-roll-back-in-head-at-dinner-table-as-she-feeds-on-familys-enjoyment-of-food/