YES bitch enter in a CAPE!!!!!!! #monsterdon

rare wikipedia shade
#monsterdon

retvrn to when all scientific disputes were settled by competing masculinities in a rich guy's parlor #monsterdon

hypnotizing this woman until she believes she can do an irish accent, we'll make billions #monsterdon

if you go back in time enough then everyone is just like an irish sea monster floating in the abyss of the cosmos #monsterdon

so the sequence of events is

• astral project this women back in time to when she was an irish sea monster
• summon a dog
• mind control the dog
• the dog is not very mind controlled
• everyone's going to die

#monsterdon

so in the movie, if you go back far enough in someone's prior lives, at first it's all fun and games where they speak in a funny accent, but eventually their mind splits and their prior lives just get fully reconstituted and resurrected, piloted by the psyche of the hypnotized person #monsterdon

scene change? SCENE CHANGE?!!! everyone just saw a woman transcend time and flee for their lives from a murderous sea monster and you scene change???? #monsterdon

so the good hypnotist is now convinced of time travel hypnosis, and the two hypnotists are buds, and the conflict in the plot just comes from how the soul jailer hypnotist is addicted to summoning a murderous sea creature through this woman #monsterdon

no wait the conflict in the movie is that the soul jailer hypnotist can't make this woman love him despite being able to scrub her mind freely back and forth through all time and all her prior lives at will, and so he has no choice but to go all the way back to when women were a murderous sea monster species and kill everyone in the present #monsterdon

the one plot hole here is what on earth is going on with the good hypnotist's eyes and why is he always boggling like a rat #monsterdon

last week i asked for a movie that made me go "what the fuck is going on for real" and wow this movie is certainly delivering #monsterdon

ok what is so special about this one woman, why can't the hypnotist with all his mega riches find some other woman who likes being channeled into her sea creature past to murder everyone with #monsterdon

it's an important methodological limitation that casting someone's immortal soul into a hemideity/cryptid requires the constant high partial pressure of water and spirits that can only be found near a haunted ocean #monsterdon

fuck yeah baby blast the newsreel montage into my veins, this is how information propagates #monsterdon

there are so many threads they are keeping in the air - the dog, the ocean, the steam, the academic rivalry... you can't just add a love triangle into the middle of all that #monsterdon

ancient sea monsters just hate seeing it when people make out!!!! #monsterdon

so listen i am expecting nothing less than the other hypnotist having figured out how to summon kaiju and for this to turn into a full on kaiju movie #monsterdon

they did the love triangle entirely in subtext and now we are expected to care about the woman being in love with the other hypnotist. if elizabeth's soul was instead like intent on being free then maybe they could motivate the sea creature murders as being just a wild expression of a repressed soul, but making her just be in love with the other hypnotist is such a waste #monsterdon

i can only recognize three men in this movie: the evil hypnotist by the oil in his hair, the good hypnotist by the bulge in his eyes, and the rich plutocrat by the tooth in his mustache. every other man is a total blur, and there are anywhere between 2 and 9 of them #monsterdon