hey fellow trans folks, i could use your input:
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hey fellow trans folks, i could use your input:
years ago my big brother had a huge, positive turn-around politically; and he has sway over his rural community as he's in a leadership position there. with his power and privilege he wants to see trans folks better supported
to that end, what he wants to educate himself on:
1) "what are the top priorities and concerns for trans folks just trying to live their lives?"
2) "what are the toughest aspects of being trans and living in a small town?"
1. Housing, healthcare, and jobs.
2. I'm in a big city, but housing, healthcare, and jobs . -
hey fellow trans folks, i could use your input:
years ago my big brother had a huge, positive turn-around politically; and he has sway over his rural community as he's in a leadership position there. with his power and privilege he wants to see trans folks better supported
to that end, what he wants to educate himself on:
1) "what are the top priorities and concerns for trans folks just trying to live their lives?"
2) "what are the toughest aspects of being trans and living in a small town?"
@eri first of all, I'd just like to say I think your brother is great and just seeing this post gave me a lot of hope!
Answers for him:
1) access to parts of society that cis people have access to. Shelters, bathrooms, locker rooms (many trans people won't even use this access out of fear--I've used the men's locker room once but it was terrifying and I don't wanna do it again. None of my transfem friends have ever used the women's, last I knew)
2) N/A but in a small*ish* town, it was isolation -
@eri first of all, I'd just like to say I think your brother is great and just seeing this post gave me a lot of hope!
Answers for him:
1) access to parts of society that cis people have access to. Shelters, bathrooms, locker rooms (many trans people won't even use this access out of fear--I've used the men's locker room once but it was terrifying and I don't wanna do it again. None of my transfem friends have ever used the women's, last I knew)
2) N/A but in a small*ish* town, it was isolation@eri oh and as far as what he can do, even just publicly expressing his support for trans people will probably have positive outcomes for the trans people in that community. If people look up to him, they'll be willing to listen to him more than they'd be willing to listen to trans people. And he can maybe convince some that we're just people who want to live our lives, same as them.
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As an openly Trans person in a small mountain town (<8k, big ag component), rural community ends up being hard mostly because of safety.
I already know I have to drive and 1+ hour into the city for care, and that’s not gonna change with like three of us here. But knowing that I’m safe in the city and outside it would be nice and is always an issue. Like outside the city is Trump country. Going out to a farm-to-table event for me is a serious risk vector. Going to a local dive bar is a serious risk vector. And honestly I have no assurance the cops would protect me.
Having more voice in power saying “queer people are our people” and places I know I can go safely really changes things.
Also, we have a different relationship with our police in a small town, but I don’t know I can trust them as a trans person.
So small town trans life is very “things are okay as long as they are okay, but if they get not okay I literally don’t know If I’ll be supported or killed.”
@FinalGirl @eri @glassblowerscat strongly seconding the safety point. we are lucky to not be the only trans folks in town but my wife still stands out in a crowd and has very much changed how she presents to put less of a target on herself.
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hey fellow trans folks, i could use your input:
years ago my big brother had a huge, positive turn-around politically; and he has sway over his rural community as he's in a leadership position there. with his power and privilege he wants to see trans folks better supported
to that end, what he wants to educate himself on:
1) "what are the top priorities and concerns for trans folks just trying to live their lives?"
2) "what are the toughest aspects of being trans and living in a small town?"
@eri 1) Top concerns are national/state: Will I be disappeared into a camp, able to change my driver’s license/birth certificate one day, discriminated against by law? Priorities: build lots of relationships with community/neighbors so they see me as a person, not a weirdo/threat.
2) Just knowing everyone around is conservative. Meeting a progressive person or ally is a rare and pleasant surprise. Medical/aesthetic care is remote: my HRT doctor is 90 minutes away, no laser/electro for 40 miles
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@eri 1) Top concerns are national/state: Will I be disappeared into a camp, able to change my driver’s license/birth certificate one day, discriminated against by law? Priorities: build lots of relationships with community/neighbors so they see me as a person, not a weirdo/threat.
2) Just knowing everyone around is conservative. Meeting a progressive person or ally is a rare and pleasant surprise. Medical/aesthetic care is remote: my HRT doctor is 90 minutes away, no laser/electro for 40 miles
@eri 2) (cont’d): No support groups or social infra nearby. If you’re religious, no you’re not, because there is no progressive place of worship nearby, and if you’re not Christian, forget it. False rumors spread fast and hurt very materially: One person who is so freaked out by your gender presentation that they literally feel unsafe around you can make all their friends believe you’re dangerous to be around.
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1) "what are the top priorities and concerns for trans folks just trying to live their lives?"
Literally that. It's impossible to just live our lives, because laws, harassment, rumours, exlusion and endless news cycles shining spotlights on us and blaming us for everything mean that simply existing in the open is close to impossible for many of us2) "what are the toughest aspects of being trans and living in a small town?"
It's everything from 1, but more concentrated. Communities are smaller, so rumours and exclusion hit harder. When you're in a city and you lose your friends and family by coming out, you at least have a chance of finding a community and peers. In small towns, that isn't true. Exclusion is truly isolating, and losing friends and family is final, there is no replacing that lose, except by moving out of town. Which is hard to do when you have no money and no one will hire you or support you. I grew up in a small town, and it played a huge part in why I stayed in the closet for so long.@ada @eri I am not trans, however I do want to highlight your point on question number 2. As someone who used to live in a very small town, making what seems to be a few enemies might even turn the entire town against you. That sucks a lot. And you know what, I'm going to parrot what I hear about them simply wanting to exist. Nobody should have to exist under pressure over their identity, if they're not harming anybody else. So yeah. Wanting to live is a top priority. Make sure people are safe.
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hey fellow trans folks, i could use your input:
years ago my big brother had a huge, positive turn-around politically; and he has sway over his rural community as he's in a leadership position there. with his power and privilege he wants to see trans folks better supported
to that end, what he wants to educate himself on:
1) "what are the top priorities and concerns for trans folks just trying to live their lives?"
2) "what are the toughest aspects of being trans and living in a small town?"
@eri i grew up in a 6k town by one of the wealthiest farming areas in the world. the experiences before i came out were pretty horrendous. at high school a group of boys chased me down on the way home and shot me in the head with a hunting slingshot. much later on i got assaulted and robbed, and the assailant tried to drag me into an alleyway. he was from out of town but he obviously thought it was a good place to target me. so i lived with these sorts of experiences just from being a queer kid and adult in the back of my mind.
it was hard to get medical care of any sort, and i had to travel to the city for months to get on HRT. people in positions of responsibility had a callous attitude.
but honestly the worst thing was living in a parental home with no other options. getting misgendered and having shitty mental health. dealing with unrealistic economic expectations stuck in the past, and not feeling valued.
that town had me suicidal from the moment i woke up.
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hey fellow trans folks, i could use your input:
years ago my big brother had a huge, positive turn-around politically; and he has sway over his rural community as he's in a leadership position there. with his power and privilege he wants to see trans folks better supported
to that end, what he wants to educate himself on:
1) "what are the top priorities and concerns for trans folks just trying to live their lives?"
2) "what are the toughest aspects of being trans and living in a small town?"
1.) Being able to live my life without the constant stress of bigots trying to make existing in public impossible. Not having my healthcare taken away.
2.) Not being able to be myself when I visit home because neighbors will talk. Being told to quiet down or stop talking in public or semipublic spaces because my family doesn't want to be harassed by the MAGA bigots that may overhear.
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hey fellow trans folks, i could use your input:
years ago my big brother had a huge, positive turn-around politically; and he has sway over his rural community as he's in a leadership position there. with his power and privilege he wants to see trans folks better supported
to that end, what he wants to educate himself on:
1) "what are the top priorities and concerns for trans folks just trying to live their lives?"
2) "what are the toughest aspects of being trans and living in a small town?"
@eri why bother, wait a couple of months and we're all going to be dead anyway
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hey fellow trans folks, i could use your input:
years ago my big brother had a huge, positive turn-around politically; and he has sway over his rural community as he's in a leadership position there. with his power and privilege he wants to see trans folks better supported
to that end, what he wants to educate himself on:
1) "what are the top priorities and concerns for trans folks just trying to live their lives?"
2) "what are the toughest aspects of being trans and living in a small town?"
@eri my top priorities are access to healthcare and protection from employment and housing discrimination.
I don't LOVE having to plan travel around what kinds of prison times and fines I might be exposed to for being trans in one state vs another, and I'm certainly not thrilled about the states that want to designate any picture of a trans person as pornography, but--
As for number 2? I can't answer that; I live in Philly. My natural state in rural areas is guarded and vigilant.
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hey fellow trans folks, i could use your input:
years ago my big brother had a huge, positive turn-around politically; and he has sway over his rural community as he's in a leadership position there. with his power and privilege he wants to see trans folks better supported
to that end, what he wants to educate himself on:
1) "what are the top priorities and concerns for trans folks just trying to live their lives?"
2) "what are the toughest aspects of being trans and living in a small town?"
@eri Our top concerns are having (the rest of) our rights stripped away, and... let's summarise it with "dying early."
The more your brother can do to help his community understand that we're people, the better. If he can help them understand that demonising us is just a distraction, it might even get them angry with the right people.
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